I Will See You In Ten Minutes

2006-06-26T19:07:00.000-04:00

The past couple of years have been challenging to say the least. It is through trials, tribulations and plenty of vodka martinis that one's true mettle is put to the test. I was discussing with Debbie about several of our loved one's recent passings, and she has this very interesting view. She said when someone passes, and their spirit goes to heaven, time is not metaphysically the same as we humans comprehend it. Now I do not pretend to have any training of any kind in this area and I am by no means a rocket scientist, but I am a believer in Christ. And He controls every single, physical law, boundary or limitation that exists in the entire cosmos. He is the creator, after all. In heaven, a day is as a milennia and a milennia is a day.

Still with me? What does this have to do with trials, tribulations and vodka martinis? Read on.

Deb and I are discussing these truths, as we are sitting out on the deck, soaking in the beautiful expanse of the montains, breathing in the cool breeze as the rythym of the rain drops ease our pain a bit. These martinis don't hurt either.

Loosing my grandpa was very traumatic for me. I was the first grandchild and even though I know that grandpa and grandma loved us all the same, I always saw and felt that extra special tenderness and lightning bolt of love when we were together. Popi, as we called my grandpa, was a wonderful man and a very excitable puerto rican. "How joo dooing, mama," he would ask me all the time, in his thick spanish accent.

"Joo hungry? Joo want some food?," he asked. "Joo granma make rice and beans, go eat now, mama."
"I just ate, Popi."
"No, deese eese good food, you eat granma cook for you."
"Okay, Popi, calm down, I'll eat, I'll eat."

I still remember the last day I felt I would see him attentive and alert. I fed him french toast with maple syrup, a banana and some fresh black coffee. Just like he fed me when I was a little girl. We laughed and joked, he thought he was going to get better and I let him believe that. I didn't want him to be afraid. His plentiful, naturally dark hair was sticking straight up in the air and I chuckled, "What's up with the hair, Pop?," as I combed it back neatly. I spent the previous night and entire day with him holding his hand and was dreading my departure. As he was propped up in his hospital bed, we locked eyes for a long time and I told him I would see him again in the "other" hospital he was being sent to. We both smiled and I gave him butterfly kisses all over his face and neck. He kissed me tenderly on my cheek several times and we could not let go of each other.

"Okay, Popi I will see you in your new condo suite at the fancy hospital."
"Okay, mama."

A couple of weeks later, he passed.

Just a short year later, my father joined him. My father and I had a very stormy relationship. He was a military man and a strong disciplinarian. His death was very scary as it was so sudden and unexpected. He was a very young 56 year old, who didn't smoke, was an occasional drinker, was physically fit. He was the glue that held our family together. He was just retired about 4 years, and looked as handsome as ever. He totally loved my partner, Debbie, and totally monopolized her when she came over to my parents house. I think my dad had the hots for my girl! Since his retirement my dad was becoming a much more mellower guy and finally stopped seeing me as a child and starting seeing me as an adult. He was totally devoted to his family and raising us properly was one of his main objectives in life. He was a good man, and a good dad. Finally, I get to see him as a regular guy and then he fricken dies. What the F...? This is a damn nightmare. Not again. Please, God, please not again.

I went to his hospital room and pulled back the privacy curtain. My father laid there motionless in a coma. He was so handsome. His body was there, but he wasn't there. I held his warm strong hand for a while, bent over close to his ear and told him, "Dad, if you can hear me please squeeze my hand." I waited. And waited. I asked again. "Dad?" Still no response. After what seemed like an eternity, I whispered close to him , "Dad, if you can hear me and you can fight this- this is the time." Then I proceeded to tell him about the many wonderful memories and and what he meant to me. I also told him to forgive me for being a pain in the butt. "I forgive you too," I said. "Dad, you're a great father and if your too tired to be here anymore, it ok to go. You can go, if you have to. It's all right," I sobbed.

My mother, of course, was inconsolable and distraught and asked my siblings and I to handle everything, which we did, without question.

All of these life events seem as though they just happened yesterday. It has only been a couple of years. I asked God to give me a sign if it was true that our loved ones can still see us certain times. Then, out of nowhere, a whole bunch of vibrantly colored balloons floated overhead. That was a major hello from heaven.

"You know, Mad," Deb said, "it's only ten minutes in heavens time clock until you see your popi and your dad again. It feels like forever to us, but in reality, it will only be ten minutes."

That's right, I thought. Its only ten minutes.

Is It Sunday Yet?

2006-06-25T12:38:00.000-04:00

Ahhhh, its Sunday... I have my hair up in a pony tail, my victoria secret ladies boxers and my flip flops on. Yeah, so I am very into comfort---it is Sunday after all. The greatest day of the week as far as I'm concerned. This is the day after the hectic, crazy, quotas, schedules and deadlines go away and are tucked deeply into one of the pockets of my business suits.

The delicous aroma of eggs, bagels toasting and fresh hot coffee permeate the air as I walk back to the cozy living room with goods, I just prepared. Deb and I sit and watch the magnificent view before us. There's a large sliding glass door that lets out onto a deck and then we watch as the symphony begins. The sparrows made a nest in one of our larger candle holders that hangs just outside and they just love to serenade us awake.

"Hey, the birds are still in their penthouse!" I said.
"Yeah, I think they can stay for a while" Deb chuckles.

We thought they had abandoned us for newer digs. They sing to us throughout the morning, as we enjoy the show. The two fat rabbits are frolicking on the lawn, and a chipmunk pops his head out and spies on them. Born in the city, I can't remember wanting to be anywhere but here. I feel like one of those women in "Gone with the Wind",as she said "Why this just feels like a soothing tonic to my being." I take a deep breath of mountain air, ahhh, so glad its Sunday. During the week Debbie and I laugh during the hectic crazy week, as we jokily ask, "Is it Sunday yet?"

Hell yeah, onto one of our many adventures and watering holes! Where's the martini's and bloody marys.

Magic of Your Dreams

I Will See You In Ten Minutes

Is It Sunday Yet?